Are you being your best friend?

Whenever we know a good friend has a problem, we tend to caress him, to encourage him to overcome it.
We tell him that it is not so important, that he will manage to find a way.
We tell him that we believe in his ability to succeed and we help him to relax and get ready to find a solution.

However, sometimes we are not able to do the same for ourselves, and we treat ourselves harshly instead of supporting ourselves as our best friend would do.   
Don't we deserve what we do for our best friends? Would we treat that way a good friend who has a problem? Are we worth less than him? Do we find certain pleasure or comfort in punishing ourselves? What makes us apply different scales to us and to other people?

These are important questions.  They tell us the truth about what we believe we are worth as compared to others. If any of the answers is discomforting, you may be willing to change your beliefs and start treating you as your best friend.  After all, you are the only one who shares 100% of the time with yourself.  Better be on good terms with yourself!

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 
 

by  William Ernest Henley

Challenge your fears!

What are you afraid of now?  
What are your deepest fears right now?
If I look into my past, I grew a lot whenever I asked myself these questions and challenged the answers my mind gave me.  These questions made me aware of unconscious beliefs that were limiting my behavior.
Once I was aware of them, I was free to choose another view, challenge the fear, and make my personal power grow. 
I want to share with you this wonderful poem by William Arthur Ward,  

To Risk 

which arrived to me in a Spanish translation in the blog of my dear friend Eva Sandoval.

Response vs. Reaction

Do you know the difference between response and reaction?

Many times we feel hurt by acts and words that somebody else did or said. We take them personally, and we react. Often this reaction worsens the situation and leads to an scalating spiral of verbal and even physical violence. And later, when the storm is over, we regret many things of what we said...

How do we change this pattern?  How shall we deal with these situations?
We need to respond instead of reacting.  To respond means first to follow one of the four agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz, an agreement with ourselves, that says:

Don't take anything personally

whatever other people do or say stems from THEIR way of interpreting life and reality, based solely on their beliefs, which limit their perception and thereby their ability to act otherwise.
As Don Miguel Ruiz says "they are on their dream of reality".

Once we accept this agreement, our focus changes completely.  We become more present and able to deal with the situation in a constructive way.  The best effect of this agreement is that we will save ourselves a lot of needless suffering. We are then empowered to connect with our heart, and from that place find a solution... the right words... the right act... according to our greater values.  We will then be able to support that person, feel more empathy, and help him/her if that is what we choose to do.